you win again, gameday.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
