I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He kissed a someone with a penis
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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