He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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