The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you inspire me to be a worse person
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
