He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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