If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
