as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize