i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
