we have officially lost it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
