You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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