I like my sex mixed with concussions.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
