doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
