Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
