oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
