You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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