there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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