i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
