i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
