I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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