boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
