So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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