his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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