She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I bet he comes in French.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
