this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
