you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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