this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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