There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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