Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
