Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
