thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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