she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
