Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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