I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Come share oat with me in your robe
So I just went to clothing optional bar
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
