wat bout pragnant strippers??
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
