those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
