Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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