She announced her abortion via fbk
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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