Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
