so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
