OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
