Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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