Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
is wine microwaveable?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
