What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
