She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
