What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
