Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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