Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
