C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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