someone threw a dead crab at me
Yo dont text me then not text me
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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