Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
