This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
