5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I could have mohawked her pubes.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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