I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize