from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
