This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
